Цитаты из книги Тень и кость
I don't care if you danced naked on the roof of the Little Palace with him. I love you, Alina, even the part of you that loved him.
I'm not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way you did. I never really belonged anywhere."
"You belonged with me.
The moment our lips met, I knew with pure and piercing certainty that I would have waited for him forever.
It's probably for the best, I told myself. How would I have said goodbye to Mal anyway? Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable. Oh, and sorry I fell in love with you for a while there. Make sure to write!
'What are you smiling at?'
I whirled, peering into the gloom. The Darkling's voice seemed to float out of the shadows. He walked down to the stream, crouching on the bank to splash water on his face and through his dark hair.
'Well?' he asked, looking up at me.
'Myself,' I admitted.
'Are you that funny?'
'I'm hilarious.
They are orphans again, with no true home but each other and whatever life they can make together on the other side of the sea.
This was his soul made flesh, the truth of him laid bare in the blazing sun, shorn of mystery and shadow. This was the truth behind the handsome face and the miraculous powers, the truth that was the dead and empty space between the stars, a wasteland peopled by frightened monsters.
Why can a Grisha possess but one amplifier? I will answer this question instead: What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men.
A moment later the boy whispered, "I don't think you're ugly."
"Shhhh!" the girl hissed. But hidden by the deep shadows of the cupboard, she smiled.
So I'm the Darkling's prisoner?"
"You're under his protection."
"What's the difference?"
"Pray you never find out.
The thought filled me with grief, grief for the dreams we'd shared, for the love I'd felt, for the hopeful girl I would never be again.
Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable. Oh, and sorry I fell in love with you for a while there.
Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every girl I tumbled? For every dumb thing I've said? Because if we start running tallies on stupid, you know who's going to come out ahead.
I had spared the stag's life. The power of that life belonged to me as surely as it belonged to the man who had taken it.
I hate hiding how much the stupid things he did hurt me, but I hated the idea of him finding out even more.
People, particularly big men carrying big rifles, don't expect lip from a scrawny thing like me. They always look a bit dazed when they get it.
Then the memory of the Darkling's kiss blew through me and rattled my concentration, scattering my thoughts like leaves and making my heart swoop and dive like a bird borne aloft by uncertain currents.
There’s no such thing as too much champagne. Though your head will try to tell you otherwise tomorrow.
I didn't think he was in love with me and I had no idea what I felt for him, but he wanted me, and maybe that was enough.
What is she to you anyway?"
"Here's my answer captain. She's the thing that made this all okay-the threadbare coats and the old boots and the guns that jams when you most need them to fire, the loneliness of knowing that you don't matter, that you will never matter, the fact that you're just another body, another uniform to be sent into the fold or the frost, another good boy who knows his place, who does his job, who doesn't ask questions, who will lie down and die and be forgotten. What is she? She's everything, you dumb son of a bitch.
Dear Mal, I haven't heard from you, so I assume you've met and married a volcra and that you're living comfortably on the Shadow Fold, where you have neither light nor paper to write. Or, possibly, your new bride ate both your hands.
The tears that had been threatening to overflow finally did, coursing down my cheeks. I wanted to run after him, to take back what I'd said, to beg him to stay, but I'd spent my life running after Mal. Instead, I stood in silence and let him go.
How did you fare with the Queen?" he asked.
"I have no idea," I said honestly. "Everything she said was perfectly nice, but the whole time she was looking at me as if I were something her dog spit up.
So I'd made my choice. I'd pushed my power down and held it there each day, with all my energy and will, without ever realizing it. I'd used up every bit of myself to keep that secret.
I thought the love I'd had for him belonged to the past, to the foolish, lonely girl I never wanted to be again. I'd tried to bury that girl and the love she'd felt, just as I'd tried to bury my power. But I wouldn't make that mistake again.
She's an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that's turned."
"And so skinny!" the cook replied. "Never finishes her supper."
Crouched beside the girl, the boy turned to her and whispered, "Why don't you eat?"
"Because everything she cooks tastes like mud."
"Tastes fine to me."
"You'll eat anything."
They bent their ears back to the crack in the cupboard doors.
A moment later the boy whispered, "I don't think you're ugly."
"Shhhh!" the girl hissed. But hidden by the deep shadows of the cupboard, she smiled.
The first time I'd entered the Fold, I'd feared the darkness and my own death. Now, darkness was nothing to me, and I knew that soon death would seem like a gift. I'd always known I would have to return to the Unsea, but as I looked back, I realized that some part of me had anticipated it.
I'm not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never belonged anywhere."
"You belonged with me," he said quietly.
"No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time.
I've risked my life for you. I've walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I'd do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don't tell me we don't belong together.
I need you to do something for me."
He snorted. "You mean other than deserting the army, scaling mountains, and freezing my ass off on the cold ground every night?"
"Yes.
The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How right he was. I'd wanted so badly to belong somewhere, anywhere. I'd been so eager to please him, so proud to keep his secrets. But I'd never bothered to question what he might really want, what his true motives might be. I'd been too busy imagining myself by his side, the savior of Ravka, most treasured, most desired, like some kind of queen.
Only you could contemplate imminent death and just say 'all right.'"
He smiled at me and pushed the hair back from my tear-stained face. "How about 'oh no'?.
Did you tell him, Alina? Does the boy know how willing you were to give yourself to me? Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark?.
She still talks of fairness. What does fairness have to do with any of this? The people curse my name and pray for you, but you're the one who is ready to abandon them. I'm the one who will give them power over their enemies. I'm the one who will free them from the tyranny of the king.
What do you two talk about, anyway?" I asked curiously. I still didn't quite understand Genya's fascination with the Fabrikator.
She sighed. "The usual. Life. Love. The melting point of iron ore.
Why shouldn't I be afraid of you?" I asked. "You're the Darkling. I'm not saying you would throw me in a ditch or ship me off to Tsibeya, but you certainly could. You can cut people in half. I think it's fair to be a little intimidated."
He studied me for a long moment, and I wished fervently that I'd kept my mouth shut. But then that half smile flickered across his face. "You may have a point.
I’ve spent my life searching for a way to make things right. You’re the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in a long time.
She smiled then, a small smile of such aching sadness that it was hard to look at. "You think I don't love my son," she said. "But I do." "It is because I love him that I will not let him put himself beyond redemption.
Of course not. And there’s nothing wrong with being a lizard either. Unless you were born to be a hawk.
The Darkling would not hesitate. He would not grieve. His darkness would consume the world, and he would never waver.